


Which Is Heavier?

by Cicadaemon



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Nonsense, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:12:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8250328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cicadaemon/pseuds/Cicadaemon
Summary: Victor asks the age old question about steel and feathers while Yuuri begins to actually worry for his boyfriend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think Victor is an idiot, he strikes me as quite the opposite, but you have to agree
> 
> this is a hilarious idea

“What exactly are you doing?”

Yuuri had woken up to Victor staring intently at his computer screen. It hadn’t struck him as odd when he had first lethargically walked into the living room nor had it as he had made himself a cup of coffee while basically on autopilot. It wasn’t until he had downed the coffee in 3 quick gulps and taken time for the caffeine to hit his bloodstream did he realize the look of confusion and concentration on his boyfriend’s face.

“Trying to figure something out,” was all Victor responded with. Yuuri shrugged and went back into the kitchen to make something to eat. It wasn’t until Yuuri had started boiling water for tea and about finished making a breakfast consisting of sausages and blinis that Victor spoke up once more.

“ _Solnyshka_ , which do you think is heavier? A kilogram of steel or a kilogram of feathers?”

If Yuuri wasn’t awake before he certainly was then. The first thought that went through his head was that it was Victor pulling his leg. Though a part of him, knowing just how literal his boyfriend could take things knew it wasn’t a joke. Shaking his head as he filled another blini with sweet jelly he answered.

“Both are the same weight.”

He heard a scoff then approaching footsteps.

“It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.”

Yuuri’s glasses practically went flying off of his face when he jerked around hoping that Victor was joking. By the look on his face he was unfortunately dead serious. The poor thing looked still so confused.

“No they’re both the same,” Yuuri said, watching as Victor’s expression grew more confused.

“What do you mean?”

“They’re both a kilogram.”

He practically regretted saying that as he watched Victor grow even more confused. He felt bad for him for a second, the poor thing looked like he was having an existential crisis.

“B-but steel is heavier than feathers.”

Yuuri gave a short laugh, “I know, but Vict- I mean, darling they’re both a kilogram.”

He watched as Victor’s worried stare become more dissociated and there was an actually moment when Yuuri thought he was going to start crying.

“What,” Victor whispered in a tortured voice. That was enough for Yuuri to turn off the stove and go get his tablet, with a very confused Victor following right behind him like some lost child. Quickly he typed in the infamous question and found the first image that was relevant.

“Look darling,” Yuuri turned the tablet towards Victor with an image of one kilogram of steel and one kilogram of feathers on a scale balancing each other out. It was as clear as day what the results were and he had hoped that after a while of digesting what laid before him that Victor would figure out the answer. That maybe if this wasn’t a joke it was a lack of sleep that made him so dumb. Yuuri felt his heart drop as that confused look returned onto Victor’s face, his eyebrows scrunched up and his eyes becoming wet again.

“This doesn’t prove anything,” Victor spoke after looking at the image for a good while. “Steel is heavier than feathers.”

“See look,” Yuuri was now finding himself getting concerned for real as he pointed to the image. “They’re both a kilogram, right? So they’re the same.”

Still the confused look remained on Victor’s face. Yuuri sighed heavily and he started to feel agitated and run thin. This was something that shouldn't be asked or dealt with so early in the morning. Again, a part of him asked if it was some elaborate joke made to get Yuuri fuming only to end in them laughing at each other and Victor pulling his smile as if this was all some logical ruse. The reality of the situation seemed to be quite the opposite of what Yuuri wanted.

Victor’s voice became distressed for a second. “Well, look at the size of the feather! That’’s cheating!”

Again Yuuri sighed. He wonder vacantly if his sighs were heavier than a kilogram of steel or feather. “No they’re the same weight. A kilogram.”

Again Victor repeated his new mantra, “But steel is heavier than feathers.”

Yuuri let his hands drop, his tablet bumping his thighs with defeat. 

“Yuuri, how can I answer this question? What do I say?”

“Look, look, look they’re both a kilogram.”

That seemed to break him. Victor whispered ‘no’ over and over in a quick, hush manner as he brought his one hand to his face. He shook his head as if it was the most confusing thing in the world. Yuuri found himself wondering once again if it was a joke that was going to far and that maybe Victor became a skater to make up for the fact he was a shit comedian and mathematician. He said a silent prayer for whatever poor math teacher got stuck with Victor in his youth.

“What is it you don’t get darling?” Yuuri looked to Victor really hoping that tortured look on his face was all an act. If it was an act, Yuuri had to commend him for his brilliant performance cause yet again he was getting genuinely concerned for Victor’s mental well being.

Victor laughed before looking off, fiddling with his hands and looking ready to cry. Yuuri switched the tablet over to one hand and walked cautiously over to Victor as if any sudden movement would cause him to actually start crying. He was standing right next to him before whispering comfortingly to him.

“Are you alright?”

Victor whispered ‘I don’t get I just don't get it’ before looking over to Yuuri with tears in his eyes. Yuuri brought up his hand and rubbed Victor’s shoulder comfortingly. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Yuuri offered the warmest smile he could. Victor whispered even quieter again that he didn't get it before bring his head down into his shoulder. Yuuri brought his hand up and stroked his hair softly and he listened to Victor repeat how it didn’t make sense and that it had to be steel.

“Don’t worry, this doesn’t matter,” Yuuri whispered.

‘At least you can skate well and you’re pretty’ is what he wanted to add.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talke Victuri with me at cicadaemon.tumblr.com
> 
> Added note:
> 
>  _Blinis_ are like pancakes and they're delicious. _Solnyshka_ means sunshine.


End file.
